Don't Disappoint me Blog

Dear Blog,

I had this girlfriend one time and I told her a lot of stuff. A lot about hopes, dreams, things I like and don't like, kind of like what I tell you. I also gave her a list of instructions and things to tell my son if, for whatever reason, I couldn't tell him. But now that she's not going to be the mother of my children, I have to find someone else to deliver my wishes. I told Chad a few things, But I doubt he remembers. I'm sure he remembers the conversation but specifics, not so sure. So blog I'm coming to you. Here are some things to tell my son (I haven't thought about my daughter, which I for sure want, but don't have a clue about). Please be thorough and precise.

1) Most Importantly! It took Edgar Ramirez forever to convince me of this. Two fingers in the Pinky, three if he's an Outfielder. No questions asked.

2) Son, You're going to lose your hair. Grow it out long now while you can.

3) Listen to these people. Chad, Phillipe, your Grandparents, Drew, J-Farr, Paul, and any others that I'll write about.

4) If you grow up on the West Coast be a regular foot, if the East or Gulf Coast be a Goofy foot. However, I expect you to rip both ways.

5) I've never met a girl with a guy's name that I didn't like. Get to know these girls. Especially one's named Cori.

6) Under no circumstances are you allowed to wear gloves while in the weight room.

7) When you are young, eat whatever you want just play a lot. Then start eating real food.

8) Have an uppercut in your baseball swing. Slap hitters don't play (or get paid) as much.

9) Hold the door for women.

10) Alabama and Auburn stereotypes.

11) When fishing, don't take the smallest fish, but don't take the biggest either.

12) Build something out of wood that you will use.

13) You can buy your first two surfboards, three at the most. Then you have to make one. You can buy them after that.

14) I'm going to leave it in my will that if you come home with a Team Edward T-Shirt, you get nothing.

15) be able to speak at least three languages before you graduate high school (I'll try and help you out by marrying someone who speaks Spanish or Portuguese).

16) And finally, for now, you may be tempted to be a dancer in a Lady Ga Ga video, but it's just not worth it. Plus it will just raise a lot of questions.

So blog, it's on your shoulders now. This is just a small list. Keep him on the right path for me.....

~B